Hello all you Loyal Readers out there...

It's been busy and then slowed down just a bit since I last wrote an entry for your reading pleasure. I had mentioned last time that I had just started to hit the ground running and going on audition after audition after audition. And did I ever....in 2 days there were 5 auditions, a couple a day later the following week a few auditions and then (I guess my body had had it-plus there was something floating around getting everyone sick) I got sick.

I just have to share with you all probably one of the WORST audition experiences yet to date. It was for an open dance audition for "Hairspray"...that's right...DANCE audition. For those of you who know me personally, you're probably saying to yourselves, "What???". I know. I was a nervous wreck the day before and (especially) the day of. But Jackie and Aimee (my audition troupe) had somehow convinced me to go. So I had bought the yoga pants and brought a snug-ish t-shirt and character shoes to hopefully look the part of someone who could dance. Well, maybe that's where I should have stopped. I got there with Aimee (Jackie had a callback for them later on in the day) and I was instantly intimidated. There were dancers all around me and I just knew I had nothing. I guess it didn't help that I had started off with a somewhat negative attitude walking in, but I was REALLY nervous. And it is extremely intimidating especially the closest I ever got to a dance class (besides a required one in college that I sat out for most of due to mono) was soccer practice when the coach would blow the whistle and I would drop, roll on the ground and pop back up again....yeah. So it's our turn to head on in with a group of 50 or so and my heart is going a mile-a-minute....already. We spread out, intros are made by the choreographer and such and then we begin. Now I didn't know what to expect and when we went through the first few moves I was like, "OK, I think I'll be able to squeeze my way through this." Oh, I thought WAY too soon. That was just the beginning. The pace of not only the choreography but how fast (in general) people were getting it and what not...I was still struggling on which side to start on in the beginning!!! So needless to say, the panic starts to come on and the sheer fear and intimidation take over. We're told that we're to be broken in groups of 5 and that's it. I'm saying to myself and aloud to Aimee, "I can't do this. I'm sorry. I just can't. I'm freaking out." My had was on the door and I was ready to bolt. But then Aimee made a good point, "You just can't walk out." So after the first group was done, I went up to the guy and said, "I'm sorry. I had an emergency come up. I have to go." Also keep in mind I'm on the verge of tears. He was very nice about and said, "OK." took a second and said, "Or is it because you don't want to dance." I was like, "Yeah, I'm kind of freaking out right now and I'm just not able to do this right now." Like I said, he was extremely nice about it. So I practically RAN out of the room straight to the bathroom, locked myself in the stall and balled my eyes out. I was overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, stress....everything and anything an actor who's been stripped naked in a room (yet still wearing all your clothes somehow) would feel. Aimee and Jackie were really great at consoling me (as was Jon when I got home) and they said that what that dance call was like isn't how they are. That was a really hard one. I guess it's best to go to the harder ones and work towards that, right??? All I know is that I'm a little scarred by that and it will be a VERY long time before I decide to go do an open dance call again.

On a brighter note (although if you visualized me going through all this and chuckled...I'm not offended at all...looking back on it I laugh, too...it's OK) my cabaret is coming up on March 11th. It's at 7pm at Don't Tell Mama (46th St between 8th and 9th Ave). $10 cover charge and 2 drink minimum. If you can make it...GREAT!!!! If not, no worries....there WILL be things in the future.

So this week there are more auditions coming up as well as next week. Cross your fingers great thing happen and until next time......